Getting Out of the Divorce Box

Salli's Divorce Support Blog

I listened to a wise man this morning. He was talking about changing behavior generally, but --as I usually do-- I listened with ears for ideas that might help my readers. And I found some divorce-help gems!

"The ego" doesn't want us to win, so take your ego out of the equation as often as possibile. This is especially true for us as we face divorce. As long as we are listening to and trying to satisfy our ego--no matter what the issue--we will never find solutions.

Instead, get out of the "divorce box mindset" and focus on something different. Rather, focus on all the things you've done right in your life. Get out your journal and right about all the things you've done that caused you to feel, even for a moment, on top of the world. That's you! Not the proud or egocentric you, that's the real you!

Think about that person, how that person feels when they are in the groove, and claim that identity for that is who you are; and if you were in a setting that naturally allowed you to feel that way all the time, you would know your true identity.

Next, write about your highest motivations, your best intentions, your purest ambitions, and your fondest heart's desires. That is also you. That is the "you" that would prevail if, in life, there was no opposition. Unfortunately, earthlife is not challenge-free (why that is, of course, is another story); but know, and trust, that if you could be the best within you all the time--that would amount to the sum and substance of who you really are.

Getting out of the divorce box mindset starts with recognizing you are in a box. Taking steps to focus on the real you, as described above, will give you strength to get out of the box and strengthen yourself for future bouts with "in the box thinking".

Give it a try!

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My name is Salli.

Divorced and full of fret and regret, I found my 'Reason for Living' on the internet. Now, my life is lots of fun, married in Portland, Oregon.

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