Opening the Drawer

Salli's Divorce Support Blog

Repentance is an all-encompassing solution to just about every problem.

But who, among us, volunteers to do that important work on a regular basis? Unfortunately, most of us procrastinate the penitence process until circumstances stare us in the face.

And particularly, when newly divorced, most of us don't want to talk about things we've done wrong. When considering the myriad challenges divorce brings, it can seem as though there's just too much going on in life that is difficult and complicated to allow us to look contritely inward for very long.

But the day will come when the Lord will open the drawer on us. You know, He'll show us a glimpse of something we have done or said that casts an unflattering shadow on that public image that we doggedly protect.

Usually, "opening the drawer" causes a twang of self-conscious embarrassment or a glimpse from the past that causes heart-piercing feelings of shame. Most of the time we push that drawer back closed and refuse to "go there".  

But next time the drawer is opened, and we remember something we don't like about ourselves, try something different. Try keeping the drawer open for awhile. Look at the discomfitting circumstances. Wear them for a bit. Go back and recall the situation, the events that were occurring at the time. Think of yourself as your own loving parent and try to make some sense out of what happened. Give yourself a kindly listening ear.

Don't condemn yourself or the memory. Just ponder what it represented in your life. Admit the error. Or the foolishness. Allow no rationization.

Sincerely apologize in your heart. To the Lord, to the other person, to yourself.

Embrace what there is to learn, commit to do better in the future, and then close the drawer back up!

Drawers filled with shame and regret exact vital energy and stifle growth. Open those drawers and empty them of all the ghosts that need to be released.

It's one way to take the Lord's yoke upon you; a yoke that's much easier to bear-- especially when starting fresh after divorce.


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My name is Salli.

Divorced and full of fret and regret, I found my 'Reason for Living' on the internet. Now, my life is lots of fun, married in Portland, Oregon.

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