Helping Children During Divorce

Salli's Divorce Support Blog

One of the reasons divorce is such a terrible tragedy is because of the effect it has on the children.

When parents separate permanently, it can be a trauma as sorrowful as death. Divorce may seem to be the end of basic and fundamental security for a child. In many cases it represents the first life altering grief they are called upon to face. How they manage the challenge of their parent's divorce will affect the remainder of their life.

And you, as a parent, can make all the difference for them.

Divorce is not the time to allow uncontrolled emotions--especially in front of your child, and most especially your negative feelings in regard to their other parent. Take your anger to an appropriate person and place; do not place the burden of assuaging your pent up irritations or rage onto your child. Protect them from those expressions as you would protect them from a man eating lion--they are dangerous!

If your children's other parent does not recognize the damage their anger and foolish remarks can have on the children, do what you can, in a calm and mature manner, to excuse and forgive their errant parent. Don't let their thoughtlessness and bad behavior stir you up emotionally. Someone must stay grounded and watch out for the children.

Remind the children that everyone is going through a hard time and that as time passes, things will improve for everyone--because they will. Stay focused on helping everyone get through the worst of the chaos, knowing that your composure and mature judgment will be a light and refuge for your family.


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My name is Salli.

Divorced and full of fret and regret, I found my 'Reason for Living' on the internet. Now, my life is lots of fun, married in Portland, Oregon.

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