"Dating After Divorce" (A Series)

Salli's Divorce Support Blog

This topic will be a fun series to cover over the next month!

I have so many hilarious memories, curious experiences, valuable paradigm shifts, and "a-ha" moments I can share!

Golly, where do I begin?

How about at the beginning...

Well, back in the day, right out of the divorce shoot, I fell in love with a non-member. We were really a rather unlikely combination, as I reflect on it. He was short, I was tall. I was deeply spiritual and more reserved; he was a networker, a negotiator; and he employed an opportunistic mode of operandi: a ladies man, he claimed he could get any woman to do whatever he wanted them to do!

Brother! What did I see in him?

But I was hurting and vulnerable and he was loads of fun, had great ideas, and he made me laugh right out loud. He was older than I, but his children were just a few years older than my grandchildren were. He was raising his kids alone as their mother had lost interest in caring for them and she had left the family. My heart went out to them; all I could think of was how much better their life would be with the gospel.

And because I had a crush on their father, I nursed illusions of marrying him and converting the whole family.

Well, you already know where this is going...

We hung out together for a couple of years as I waited for him to pop the question. Then one day as I studied the scriptures in my car before going in to work, as I often did in those days, I read a scripture in the D&C that planted the seed in my mind that I would be bearing my testimony to someone that day. I was accustomed to following the spirit, so I prepared myself to keep my ears open for a conversation that might come up with one of my co-workers.

But nothing happened. I thought about it several times during the day, but no conversation even came close to allowing me to speak about my convictions. So I went home that night and forgot about the impression I had received.

Until later that night when, as he typically did, my male friend called me on the phone. During the work week, we often checked in with each other to see how the day had gone and to say good-night. On this particular evening, something he said introduced a negative spirit into our discussion and I immediately felt compelled to declare my feelings on the topic.

He graciously gave me the floor as I poured my heart out about truth in general, moral obligation specifically, and before I knew it, I was bearing my testimony to him. My fervor took over as words tumbled out before I could stop them:

"I want someone who loves the Lord with all his heart...someone who honors the priesthood of God...someone who will take me to the temple..." When I stopped, the silence that hung between us felt like a barbed wire fence.

After a moment he spoke quietly, "Then I'm not the guy for you, Babe." Those words literally stabbed my heart.

We went our separate ways from that night forward. I've caught glimpses of him every now and again, brow furrowed with the weight of whatever challenges he faces weighing heavy on his mind. He’s still single. I heard his son dropped out of school. All of that makes me very sad.

But his choice left me free to move into a circle of LDS men that I ultimately had more in common with and I quickly realized that I was not a plant that could be successfully planted in just any pot. I needed a specific kind of vessel…and properly prepared soil.

Lesson learned?

I learned that I was a daughter of a God who loved me, and because I loved Him, He wouldn’t let me make a mistake that would rob me of blessings I was entitled to.

Thank you, Heavenly Father.

 


Add a comment

View All

salli

My name is Salli.

Divorced and full of fret and regret, I found my 'Reason for Living' on the internet. Now, my life is lots of fun, married in Portland, Oregon.

Clicking on a Miracle

Salli's Love Story

Clicking On A Miracle proves even when your heart is broken, your dreams can still come true.

Read my story »

Search search

Mailing List Signup weekly quote

Resources resources (view all)