More on LDS Mid-Life Dating

Salli's Divorce Support Blog

Okay, so when I finally let go of my errant intention to marry that non-member gentleman (not errant solely because he was a non-member, mind you; errant because he wasn't right for me...), I began considering attending the Single Adult Program.

Unfortunately, I had almost zero positive feelings about attending SA. Don't ask me why. Perhaps it was because I had spent 25 years as a married woman in the church and never once during that time did I think, "It would be so fun to attend Single Adults!" As a married LDS person, your only serious thoughts about attending SA come during frightening daydreams about what awful thing might happen to you someday that would qualify you for attendance there.

Personally, I felt I was taking a step backwards, having gone from a married-with-children status, to my position as a single/divorced sister. I viewed the Single Adult Program as a sort of consolation prize intended to formally categorize me in my new, demoted role.

Worse than that, I also considered the program a kind of legalized "meat market" within the church that allowed the single members to gather regularly to shop for a potential partner.

Because of my wrong ideas about SA, when I finally started going, it was mostly out of curiosity; I definitely didn't expect to enjoy myself.

But something surprising happened: within a few months I started to see what the SA program was meant to be for adult singles: a chance to grow, a place to meet others in similar situations, an opportunity to heal.

I remember the very moment I accepted the SA program as a gift from the Lord. I was at a SA dance and found myself without a dance partner or a girlfriend, in the moment, so I hoisted myself up onto the stage to sit and watch the others dance. I felt comfortable and at home...and suddenly it hit me! I loved these people! As I had gotten to know them through attending dances and firesides, I realized that many of them were the most spiritually mature people I had ever met. And suddenly, I didn't feel so alone.

I learned that the SA program is not intended to solve all divorce issues, but it can be a tremendous gift to grow and heal within the church.

If we only have eyes to see.

 


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salli

My name is Salli.

Divorced and full of fret and regret, I found my 'Reason for Living' on the internet. Now, my life is lots of fun, married in Portland, Oregon.

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Clicking On A Miracle proves even when your heart is broken, your dreams can still come true.

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