Dating is Good Practice

Salli's Divorce Support Blog

Being newly single, especially after being married for a long time, can be a real shock to the system; it feels so unnatural to be unattached and on your own. Men and women, alike, can experience an irrational desire to quickly match up with someone—anyone, it seems—just so they won’t suffer loneliness.

I believe that the reason statistics show that more second marriages fail than first marriages is due to people’s fear of being alone. Making a rash decision to couple-up too hastily can shortly lead to misery.

So, buyers beware! Don’t get too serious too fast after you’ve gone through a divorce. And definitely don’t marry the first person you have feelings for once you begin dating. Shop around, kick a few tires, and try a few coats on before deciding what will work best for you.

Once I began dating, I found it helpful to think of it as “practicing”. I “practiced” meeting the opposite sex, I “practiced” being with them on a date, talking to them, asking questions, listening to their answers. Dating was something I hadn’t done in over 25 years and I wanted to get good at it before pairing off and getting serious about someone.

And boy did I run the gambit! I dated neighbors, friend’s neighbors, former ward members, old high school chums, and strangers I met at Single Adult activities. I even dated men I connected with on the internet—something I never thought I’d do!

But the point is: I had fun! I met a lot of guys and learned not to be self-conscious or awkward with a new acquaintance. I also learned to relax and enjoy the company of many different types of people. That’s the goal of dating at any age, isn’t it? And it’s very important to learn how to date after going through a divorce.

But it takes time and patience. Remember: Practice makes perfect!

 


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salli

My name is Salli.

Divorced and full of fret and regret, I found my 'Reason for Living' on the internet. Now, my life is lots of fun, married in Portland, Oregon.

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