Dating by the Spirit

Salli's Divorce Support Blog

I imagine that to most of the world the term 'dating' conjures images of foot-loose fun and good times because dating is the opportunity to explore your options while enjoying the company of new acquaintances. Good times are something to celebrate, right?

But there is another aspect of why we date.

If dating is successful, it ultimately culminates in choosing a partner and settling into marriage. Perhaps there are those outside the church who would argue with that conclusion, but as serious students of the gospel, we know that man (or woman) is not meant to be alone, and to enter the Celestial Kingdom we must build a Celestial union.

That is why when we are dating someone, and we know they are not the one for us, it is often better to stop the relationship than to continue on. Especially if one of the dating partners is more serious and hopeful about the relationship than the other.

I dated a fine man for a few weeks, (which wasn't easy since he lived in a state several states away), and although I had a lot of admiration for the gentleman, I wasn't physically attracted to him, nor did I feel we had the same goals in life.

Because of these differences, before we had gotten more than 3 or 4 dates into our friendship, I told him I wasn't interested in pursuing our dating relationship. I knew he was interested in me because he was willing to invest a lot of money on dates and travel, but I didn't feel it was fair to allow that to continue.

A first he was terribly confused and was willing to do whatever it took to change my mind, but I had too much respect for him to lead him on just for my own vanity and amusement. The first cut hurt the most, I believe, but I know in the long run it was the right thing to do. Later, he married a good woman, just right for him, and they are very happy.

So, I guess that my point today is: follow the Spirit. If it’s not right, don’t keep going because you have no one else to date. And don’t raise false hopes in someone if you are certain you aren’t a serious contender for their heart.

Treat others as you would want to be treated. Play nice and play fair.


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My name is Salli.

Divorced and full of fret and regret, I found my 'Reason for Living' on the internet. Now, my life is lots of fun, married in Portland, Oregon.

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