Thank you, Davy Jones

Salli's Divorce Support Blog

At risk of coming across as "way cheesy", I want to acknowledge the life and death of my favorite teenage idol, Davy Jones. He died yesterday at the age of sixty-six.

Now I didn't follow his career, so I don't know what sort of person he has been over the previous 40 years—since the time I knew him as one of the Monkees back when I was a teenager--but this morning, as I found myself singing, "Daydream Believer" while I cleaned my kitchen sink, I felt a sincere appreciation for that little song which powerfully influenced my fourteen year old mind back in the day.

While Carly Simon was bemoaning her parents sour marriage in, "That's the Way I've Always Heard it Should Be," along with The Righteous Brothers crooning, "You've Lost That Loving Feeling," the lyrics Davy Jones sang, about how "good times start and end without dollar one to spend. But how much, baby, do we really need," allowed me to savor the idea that I could, someday, be happily married.

With its catchy melody and upbeat lyrics, whether you cared for the song or not, you can’t deny it carried a happy message, one that anchored me, personally, with a hopeful expectation of my future.

The reality, of course, is that I did marry and I did divorce! But that's beside the point!

Through it all, I knew I could find happiness in a marriage relationship, and though it took me nearly forty years from the time Davy Jones planted that little seed of expectation in my mind—still, I arrived! I'm happy now, and well-loved, just like Sleepy Jean!

So today I just want to thank Davy Jones for not selling us short, as kids, by furthering the crippling expectation that marriage is a bad deal and can't offer happiness. It can and Davy Jones helped me to remember that!


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My name is Salli.

Divorced and full of fret and regret, I found my 'Reason for Living' on the internet. Now, my life is lots of fun, married in Portland, Oregon.

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