Children of Divorce

Salli's Divorce Support Blog

I recently read a divorce support book that I completely identify with, "Reflections From a Broken Mirror--Spiritual Values I Learned As an LDS Child of Divorce" by Deborah Eldrege Milne. Because my parents were divorced when I was a teenager, in addition to having been divorced myself, I am also a product of a divorced family. Reading Deborah's book helped to put some of the pieces back together.

Writes Deborah, "What I realize is that in the ten years since my parents' divorce, I have grown spiritually and emotionally...I know something about change, loss, and separation that I didn't know when I was eighteen."

She goes on, "Healing is possible and testifies of the compassions that a loving Heavenly Father provides to those who mourn such a loss."

Your parents may not have divorced, but now that you are you may be very concerned about your children. Like death, divorce is a pain that never really goes away with the passage of time. As a parent, you may worry that your divorce may mar your children's progress; hinder them from emotional growth they would otherwise enjoy.

But do not despair. I love Deborah's comment that healing can happen because of a compassionate Heavenly Father. The innocent victims of divorce are not left without compensation; the Lord can make up the difference in their lives with special blessings just for this occasion!

This compensatory factor reminds me of an Ensign article I'll never forget. Written by Elaine Walton from the August 2002 edition, she states:

"The effects of divorce unquestionably can be damaging, but they do not need to be crippling. You can overcome the pain and suffering, though you may feel the situation has been devastating. You can regroup, learn, and grow."

But this is the line I love the most: "I have found in some (children of divorce) a maturity and common-sense wisdom that we might hope would be evident in all of our children, though none of us would want them to gain it through watching their parents’ marriage fail."

Apparently, children of divorce can have a distinct advantage for success over children who have not experienced divorce. What a great compensating blessing!

Trust that the Lord has a blessing for every challenge we endure, not just for us as adults, but for our children, too.

Keep loving and teaching them...and the Lord will make up the difference in their lives.


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My name is Salli.

Divorced and full of fret and regret, I found my 'Reason for Living' on the internet. Now, my life is lots of fun, married in Portland, Oregon.

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