Making Sense of Broken Covenants

Salli's Divorce Support Blog

As LDS people we look at marriage as a "forever" commitment; particularly when there is a temple sealing involved. For devoted LDS members, marriage is not a casual choice but a solemn pledge to align our life with our chosen partner and to support one another…forever.

But what about when divorce happens?  The question may arise, "Is it possible for the Lord to sanction a marriage union even when He knows—that in the end—that that marriage, most likely, will fail?"

My answer to that question is, “Yes!”

Some people may challenge my premise, countering my opinion by claiming that God would never deliberately lead His children into a failure experience. But if that argument were true there would never be war or disease, miscarriage or stillborn births, physical disabilities, poverty, nor a host of other devastations we experience on earth.

I had a friend who once said, “God is not the author of the misfortune that happens in life”, but I reminded her that it was God that approved our entering this fallen and imperfect world; facing misery and failure was part of His design for us.

So back to 'failed marriages' fitting into the Lord’s plan.

I believe that two people can marry each other with the best of intentions, in the right place and in the right manner, having prayed and fasted that their decision to marry is the Lord’s will, only still to have that union end in divorce.

And why? Because of agency.

Individuals have the right to choose their paths. Unfortunately, even temple covenants cannot prevail over an individual’s choice to break them. And once broken, in many cases, divorce results.

That doesn’t mean the marriage wasn’t right in the beginning; it doesn’t mean those who promised ‘forever’ weren’t sincere in their declarations; nor does it mean that the Lord, knowing the end from the beginning, didn’t have the foreknowledge that the marriage wouldn’t last.

But it does mean He knew the great potential of such a union.

And somehow I find it very kind, as well as very wonderful, that the Lord is willing to let any of His children try to give temple marriage, and the solemn covenants involved, their very best; even if He knows it doesn’t always guarantee a “happily ever after”.

Because I believe somehow, somewhere, someway…after all the heartache of earthlife has passed away...there will be a happily ever after!

 


Tina Wood

Thank you so much for sharing this. Ending my temple marriage was the hardest things I ever had to do. I couldn't let go until I accepted it was no longer a celestial union. My spouse chose to break our covenants, and as a consequence of his agency, destroyed my trust and lost my respect & adoration! It grieves me deeply that he has given up so much for so little.


Mochelle

Thank you so much for your blogs. I just found this website and I am excited to keep reading. My temple marriage is ending due to the personal choices of my husband and never being able to regain trust in him. I had no other choice but to agree to a divorce. I am devastated... It has been 10 months of separation already. How long does the healing process take? I'm trying to remember to be patient with myself during this time. Thank you for sharing your experience. It helps me to feel normal and supported. :)


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salli

My name is Salli.

Divorced and full of fret and regret, I found my 'Reason for Living' on the internet. Now, my life is lots of fun, married in Portland, Oregon.

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