Dear Jonathon

Salli's Divorce Support Blog

Dear Jonathon,

I'm glad you have found some support and comfort on as you face one of the saddest experiences a person can have in life. As often as I speak to others, who are going through something similar, I continue to feel a sense of pain and sorrow when I read about someone's divorce. I hope you will stay close to the Lord, and your priesthood leaders, as you navigate this challenge in your life.

Your question is an interesting one. "How do you prepare for divorce and still maintain the hope and faith required for the Lord to grant the miracle of reconciliation?"

Interestingly, there is an answer. 

It comes in the form of another question, a similar one posed to people who have a life threatening illness: "How do you prepare for death while continuing to pray for a miraculous healing?"

First, ask yourself if you have the faith to not be healed. Spend some time thinking about what you would do, or how you would feel, if your prayer for a miracle is not answered. What if the Lord's answer to your desired reconciliation is 'no'? Do you have the trust to accept that His perfect plan for your life could include a divorce? If divorce does happen for you, could you submit to the difficulties that may be placed on your shoulders? Would you be willing to suffer unjust burdens and allow them to build your faith and strengthen your spirituality? Are you willing to pass through the crucible of grief and heartache that could bless you with wisdom, empathy, and allow for sanctification? Do you have the faith that not being healed could be one of the greatest blessings of your mortal experience?

The Lord has a perfect plan for everyone's life, including your's; a plan that includes the agency of all others connected to you. His plan is big enough, and beautiful enough, to embrace all the sorrow and hurt that others may impose on you through their personal choices. If you can find peace in knowing that the Lord's plan for your life could include divorce, then and only then, can you place yourself in a better position to gracefully receive either outcome.

Once you know in your heart that if divorce happens you will still be able to move forward and find happiness, then you can focus your energies on praying for the miracle of reconciliation. Don't stop praying for your wife's heart to turn, but be at peace with the idea that it might not happen.

I wish you the very best of luck as you move forward, Jonathon. The Lord loves all His children. Life is complex. We learn the most from the hardships we endure. Stay loving and trust that the best is yet to be for you. Repent, forgive, move forward.


With love, Sister Salli

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My name is Salli.

Divorced and full of fret and regret, I found my 'Reason for Living' on the internet. Now, my life is lots of fun, married in Portland, Oregon.

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