Thoughts on Divorce - Post Mission

Salli's Divorce Support Blog

We're home! We're finally back on American soil after nearly two years in Cambodia. Now I can testify that missions are the best but the hardest two years of your life! The rigors came in a variety of ways, but the blessings outweighed them tenfold. I'm so grateful Ken and I chose to step out of life and serve the Lord full-time.

So what has been my take away on divorce after serving a mission? 

I discovered, for myself, that divorce happens everywhere! Even in Cambodia. Even within the church in Cambodia. I learned that divorce hurts no matter who you are. I observed that it's not only the spouses who suffer when divorce happens - so do the parents of spouses, grandparents, cousins, friends, but most especially - children. That is the part that hurts the most to me.

But though that is true, I also believe - and have observed - that when a conscientious effort is applied to anticipate the emotional needs of the children, we will be surprised and delighted at how well our children can mend. To ease the pain and facilitate the healing, here are three tips to try:

1) Put yourself in their shoes. You may be relieved, and even happy, at the opportunity to start over, but your child's whole world has been altered, at no fault of their own. They are victims in the truest sense and may suffer from post traumatic stress. Do your homework and learn how you can assist and comfort someone suffering from such an event. Be patient, forgive them as they act out, and do a lot of listening.

2) Provide as much consistency and continuity as possible. Children need the security and structure that regular routines and predictable schedules provide. I know, it can be hard as a parent to stay of top of the day - especially when you are solely responsible when they are with you. But I promise, the best thing you can do for them is to keep as much regularity to their lives as you possibly can. It provides the bedrock foundation they need to rebuild. The same is true for you!

3) Finally, teach them how to bring the Spirit of the Lord into their lives. Teach them that true happiness and contentment comes, not when we are privileged to live out a perfect, carefree life, but just the opposite: happiness and contentment come when we know how to speak to God and receive answers from Him. Teach them that we each choose the quality of our life by opening our minds and hearts to His will for us, and then doing it.

More to come!

 

 

 

 

 

 


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salli

My name is Salli.

Divorced and full of fret and regret, I found my 'Reason for Living' on the internet. Now, my life is lots of fun, married in Portland, Oregon.

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