101 Things That Helped When I was Divorced
By Salli
1. Prayer; on my knees night and morning and in my heart all day long.
2. A home teacher willing to give me well prepared lessons each month.
3. The $100 bill someone left in an envelope under my doormat.
4. Practicing the piano whenever I felt sad.
5. Swimming.
6. A fresh coat of wall paint.
7. A kind phone call asking, “What happened?”
8. A care basket from my ward family at Christmas.
9. Ordering pizza delivery for one.
10. A daughter who rubbed my feet.
11. A co-worker sharing an inspirational song, to give me “strength to keep going.”
12. Treating myself at the Dollar Store.
13. Making cookies for someone and staying to visit awhile.
14. Coming to terms with my contribution to the failure of my marriage and practicing habits to change my ways.
15. Paying my tithing and discovering unexpected money came my way.
16. Stretching-out spread-eagle in my queen size bed at night.
17. Watching HGTV when I felt creative but had no money to spend.
18. Eating a tablespoon of peanut butter for dinner, if that’s what I felt like.
19. LDS neighbors who mowed my lawn each week.
20. Trusting the Lord because He knows the “end from the beginning.” (Isaiah 46:10)
21. Discovering that “less” furniture is “more”.
22. Buying a flowered bedspread.
23. Attending my first Single Adult conference, feeling edified, and realizing it really wasn’t a “meat market” after all.
24. Someone reminding me that just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you must remain with them.
25. My stake president calling me to a stake leadership position.
26. Splurging on a new piano when I had some cash to spend.
27. Learning, by experience, that one must change the oil in the car periodically….
28. Changing the air filter on my home heater system--by myself!
29. Finally fitting into that little red dress.
30. Inviting a gentleman for dinner at my home and having my teen-agers act mature about it.
31. Carrying a copy of the Book of Mormon in my car in case of a spiritual emergency.
32. Reading from it each morning before entering my workplace.
33. Rearranging the family room furniture and buying a new area rug.
34. Meeting another divorced LDS sister for lunch to commiserate (---just a little).
35. Bringing in my elderly neighbor’s garbage cans on Tuesday mornings.
36. Cleaning out my flower beds.
37. Volunteering to tend a friend’s baby to get some needed cuddling.
38. Doing my Visiting Teaching every month.
39. Humming my favorite hymn when temptation arose.
40. Taking a long drive in the country on my former wedding anniversary.
41. Journaling my feelings as they waxed and waned.
42. Accepting an invitation for Family Home Evening from that happily married couple who seemed to have it all, and afterwards graciously thanking the Lord that there are, indeed, some near-perfect marriages in the world.
43. Feeling gratitude for the small and simple things—like not having to share a bathroom!
44. Parents who cried with me.
45. Smiles and hugs at church.
46. Keeping my temple recommend shiny.
47. Learning from my own experience that the Lord really does speak to us from the scriptures.
48. Reading a book about healthy boundaries.
49. Learning that the Lord could still use me as an instrument in His hands.
50. Friendly interviews with my Bishop.
51. Allowing my visiting teachers to vacuum my floors.
52. Writing an Ensign article about being single.
53. Sleeping in, sometimes.
54. Going to the 5:15am endowment session, sometimes.
55. Discovering that the temple is a place of revelation.
56. Taking a road trip with my children.
57. Saying “No, thank-you,” to gentleman I knew would not be a good match for me.
58. Speaking at a baptism.
59. Learning from repeated experience that it’s usually an animal that makes a noise outside your window in the night.
60. Taking consolation in the fact that the Lord always knew I would come to “this place, at this time”. (D&C 6:14)
61. Relishing the moment when I heard Frank Sinatra sing, “The Best Is Yet to Come” (lyrics by Carolyn Leigh).
62. Watching numerous windows open, each time doors of opportunity closed.
63. Learning from experience that there are always compensations during tough times.
64. Getting rid of all the junk in the garage.
65. When my son asked me, most sincerely, if I’d had a good time at the Single Adult dance.
66. Partaking of the Sacrament worthily.
67. A letter from someone in my ward telling me how much they admired me.
68. Sons that laid their hands on my head to confer priesthood blessings.
69. Organizing a 70th birthday party for my mother.
70. Going to the movies alone, treating myself to an ice cream cone afterwards, and feeling like I’d been on a date with a good friend—me!
71. Opening the slider of my patio, letting the cool breeze come in, and realizing---after so many years---I felt peaceful.
72. Coming to the understanding that Single Adult activities provide safe ground to relax and heal.
73. Encouraging a friend going through her own divorce and internalizing the truth of my words when I said to her, “Even the good transitions take a little adjusting.”
74. Realizing that half the adult membership of the church is single.
75. When my biological brothers and sisters called on the phone to check up on me.
76. Cards of encouragement that I’ve kept for years.
77. Being told by a Priesthood leader that I was a good role model for the youth.
78. Selling a house all by myself.
79. Buying a new one all by myself.
80. The empowerment that came in participating in a stake Young Women High Adventure.
81. Surviving my teen-ager’s crisis while holding the Lord by the hand.
82. Getting professional counseling when the world should have looked bright, but didn’t.
83. Listening to The Mormon Tabernacle Choir as I drove to work each day.
84. Seeking for someone with bigger troubles than my own and helping them out.
85. Finally feeling that it is “better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” (Alfred Lord Tennyson)
86. Playing the opening hymn at a Single Adult fireside and feeling as though the contribution was valued.
87. Saying family prayer each morning with my one remaining child (even though he usually wouldn’t get out of bed).
88. Taking an occasional “mental health day” and staying home from work.
89. Dreaming out loud to create my future.
90. Bearing my testimony in testimony meeting.
91. Learning that I could walk alone in the dark safely, if the need arose.
92. My dad telling me, “It’s time to move forward, Babe.”
93. My stake Relief Society president telling me she had met her second husband on the internet.
94. Learning to think outside the box.
95. Letting go of former prejudice.
96. Relying on the judgment of friends with fine character.
97. Distinguishing the difference between taking a risk and taking a leap of faith.
98. Trusting my instinct.
99. Letting go of personal expectations and letting the Lord decide the details.
100. Keeping an eye open for the Lord’s tender mercies that always mark our path.
101. Learning that “the end (really) is better than the beginning and patience is better than pride.” (Eccles.7-8)
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I love this! It made me feel better about some of the issues I'm dealing with in my own life post-divorce. Thank you!