Honesty Over Victimhood

Salli's Divorce Support Blog

From DivorceSupportGroupsBlog.com:

Choose honesty and responsibility over being a victim. To overcome victimhood, ask yourself the following questions:

1) What are the facts and truths of my marriage and divorce? How have I confused truths and facts about my marriage/divorce with stories and interpretations?

2) What am I responsible for in my marriage/divorce? How have I been in denial?

3) What is victimhood costing me? What do I gain from being a victim?

4) What about my marriage/divorce am I resisting? What about my marriage/divorce am I afraid of?

5) What is my attitude about life? Do I have negative beliefs about life?

6) Am I stuck or am I moving forward? Am I calm and clear when I make choices or am I emotionally upset? Do my choices support my victimhood or do they empower me?



These are hard questions because it forces me to admit that my perceptions may not be reality. But I don't want to repeat the mistakes I've made in the past so I must look at myself squarely. But it doesn't feel good.


i think women are better at looking at themselves than men; probably why we can be so self-depreciating. but the up side of that is that we are also pretty good at making honest judgment calls and getting to the core of a problem faster than men (my opinion). practice makes perfect. keep looking at yourself "squarely" (as you put it) and it will get easier. good luck to you!

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My name is Salli.

Divorced and full of fret and regret, I found my 'Reason for Living' on the internet. Now, my life is lots of fun, married in Portland, Oregon.

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